I've been told this isn't timely nor advised but when has this ever stopped me before?
This is a Public Service Announcement for Men.
This is not sponsored by anyone and not specifically pointed at anyone (yes, my hubby knows all about this, he's the one with the opinion in the first line, you see.) This is a hint for gift-buying for the women in your life, most particularly your sweetheart, your girlfriend, your wife, your lover...anyone with whom you have a significant relationship apart from the one who bore you or any you may have sired.
Disclaimer: This is meant not to chide nor to nag but rather to attempt to enlighten, with humor and tongue-in-cheek, those of the male gender of our species who wish to know a deep dark secret about women, the ones who are supposedly from Venus.
But first, some humor that seems appropos via an email that my hubby sent me last week from work.( Dear Diary )
After duly bearing in mind the rules by which my darling hubby trained up his four red-headed daughters when they were teenagers, which are of course,
1) Men are Stupid.
2) Men are Pigs.
3) Men never, ever take hints. Frequent application of the clue-by-four is required. (I added the last part with Bruce's approval.)
...I have decided to take it upon myself to proclaim a truism about gifting a woman which will save you lots of grief.
This pertains to woman in your life who are sweethearts, girlfriends, lovers, wives, primaries, secondaries, pen-pals and phone sex buddies. This does not necessarily apply to women who bore you or whom you may have sired; those rules are entirely different.
Are you paying attention?
::takes the tv remote and turns the tv off::
::puts the computer game on 'pause'::
Ok, NOW are you paying attention?
When it comes to a gift-giving situation, it is in your best interest to put some time and thought into your choice of gifts for her. No matter if she's said, "oh, you don't have to buy me anything!" SHE DOESN't MEAN IT. What she really means is, "don't spend a lot of money but get me SOMETHING that means you were thinking of me." Now if you've got a high maintenance gal, it means she really does want you to spend a lot of money, no matter if you shouldn't. That's another challenge altogether; if you cater to that, you're only getting what you deserve; the bills and the expectations.
If she's told you, "I want this CD, this book, this practical-household-item;" she will be pleased with it. But a corner of her brain will wail, "but why couldn't he have gotten me something sentimental; something he picked out just for me, that shows me how he really cares?"
Public Service Announcement to Women:
STOP saying that to him if it's not what you're really thinking. If you're really thinking, "Yes, but if he really loves me, he'll get me something little and elegant that says he was thinking just of me!" Then SAY that, don't make him guess. It's another form of deeply-rooted passive aggressiveness that our culture and television sit-coms and the advertisers have promoted.
...back to the Public Service Announcement to Men:
Guys, if you want the lady in your life to think you can walk on water and are a golden god, keep an ear out whenever you hear, "Oh, that's neat, I'd LOVE to have that!" or "Oh, isn't that lovely," take note! Make a list if you have to! Take note of her favorite color, her favorite gemstone, her favorite animal, what she lingers by and looks longingly at in a store but won't buy for herself. Note: it really does not have to be expensive but it has to be something that truly reflects how you feel about her; it has to show some thought and initiative for someone other than the most important person in your life; you. Did that make you wince? Sorry. Yes, you love her; SHOW her!
Fellas, if you want your lady to be blissfully happy, do what my father did. Occasionally, for no reason at all, he'd bring home a single rose for my mother. My father was a very smart man and built up a huge store of goodwill by doing this simple thing for my mother. Bear in mind, it doesn't have to be a rose, particularly if she's allergic. It could be a bunch of daisies or a bunch of violets, hell, it could be one of those bouquets that every grocery store in civilization has by their check out counters and takes you 5 minutes to stop and get; you probably need eggs or milk anyway and that might surprise her even more that you thought of it. (Bruce calls me sometimes on his way home and says, "honey, do we need anything at the store?" GODS, how sweet is that? Whether we do or not, he was THINKING about it!) It could be a bunch of wild-flowers that you passed by or it could be taking the clippers (when it's not cold and everything's dead outside, of course) to your own yard to bring her a handful of marigolds or a bunch of lilacs. The important thing is the thought and the follow-through, that you were thinking of her and had the initiative to do something about it.
What do you get out of it? *grin* I'll leave it up to her to decide. But trust me, a woman who knows she is loved by small, tender things you do, is a woman who is very happy in her relationship.
Gals, the same thing goes for you. When was the last time you sent a "Love You" card to your fella or sent him a rose, huh?
ED: And of course, my dear friend, Bob, said it far better than I could:http://apocalypticbob.livejournal.com/262572.html
BTW, as I said to her, she's linked to mine and I've linked to hers...wasn't there something about that in that last questionnaire we both filled out? *wink*