Beating the Bushes....
Aug. 11th, 2003 06:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rowangolightly...I now know firsthand the definition of that term. One of the duikers (tiny sorta-rabbity-deer-like creatures) escaped at the Zoo today and I was drafted into helping look for the poor little thing. We spend the better part of two hours literally walking through bushes and stands of bamboo searching. I'm dead tired! And I've promised to go to fencing practice tonight, so I will.
I was in the Congo today with the Lowland Gorilla today and it was Wanto who was out today. (We have 6 of them and they rotate out in three groups; Wanto doesn't play well with others so he is out alone) He is such a gorgeous creature at 26 years and 400 pounds of solid muscle, a silverback (denoting that he is adult) and a reddish crest to the top of his pointy head - a most impressive, magnificent creature. He was very active today - going between the gazebo and the glass viewing room. He pounded on the glass several times and once, when I went to the gazebo to talk to our two English docents whom I've gotten acquainted with, he picked up a bit stick and threw it right at us! Now, he could've hit us but he aimed it well over our heads - but definitely *at* us!
But the amazing thing was that when there was no one else in the viewing room he rolled a log over to the window and sat on it exactly opposite the bench I was sitting on. I was eating a muffin and felt so intimidated by his staring that I put the muffin away - I felt like I was being rude eating in front of him! And then someone would come in, he'd get up and move about or lie down in the corner to relax. But then every time I was alone he'd come back to sit on the log and stare at me. He did this all day and I began to be convinced that he was flirting with me - well, that and what else he was doing while staring at me! Ahem! I'm *not* that sort of girl! Ok, ok, to be honest, I may well be - but certainly not with the likes of him! Dear goddess - didn't know whether to be scared, impressed, intimidated, amused or flattered! I guess a little of all of 'em. Damon (the lead interactor) came over about 4pm and he found it to be terribly amusing - until Wanto looked straight at him and let out this huge series of farts! I rolled. You can never forget you're working with animals. But it's certainly not dull there! And Damon showed us the new job description for the off-season Educators they're going to be looking for which would start immediately when the Interactor job ends. I'm going to apply - we'll see what happens.
In reading Wendy's brave call for help I felt quite guilty for not reading all weekend and answering her when she most needed it. Boy, do I understand how she feels and how my life started to change radically when I had the courage to email a similar cry for help to my friends last November. As she experienced, I too had an immediate outpouring of love and support from all of my friends. The very pro-active impulse swallowing one's independent pride and admitting that you cannot stand absolutely alone in life is a very empowering thing.
I'll be honest - I've had some really tough moments but the lowest I can recall is returning home from the Iowa State Faire last 8/18 to find that Pete and Deb had packed up and moved away and left me a note. How I got through that night is not something I will go into great detail remembering - I survived it. In conversation Saturday evening, Bruce reminded me of that upcoming 'anniversary' - and I've come so far away from it that I had to stop and think exactly to what event he was referring! And yet, I did consciously decide to be proactive in recovering from it; I went ahead and performed at faire - thank goddess that I did as that's how I met Bruce. He saw someone in immense pain at Joe and Lea's wedding that Saturday night and offered a gentlemanly arm of friendly support - with no strings attached. Heh - I thought he was from Scarborough.
Anyway, I digress (easy for me to do at the thought of that darlin' Scottish rogue) but my point is that from the gray ashes of despair are born the shining golden wings of the Phoenix. Fanciful, but an image that means a great deal to me. I worked through the betrayal and my hurt and moved on with life; put the past behind me and went on - how many times have I done that? That is why my personal symbol has become the Phoenix. I'm going to design one (been talking to Jeannie D. about it as a design for one of her windows) that has peacock feathers incorporated into it - been thinking about that concept for a couple of years now.
Anyway - I'm so tired I'm rattling on again; need to get dressed and go to fencing practice to at least stretch and practice footwork and parrys.
Wonder what tomorrow will be like? Last year's birthday was fun because I was working and I made it fun - told the patrons at the State fair and they sung me happy birthday all day long. Everybody's happy to see the Statue of Liberty - it's such a fun gig. Then went back to the hotel and cried myself to sleep 'cause Pete was spozed to come up and didn't - little did I know what was shortly to come! This year is *S0* different! I am loved by wonderful friends and a wonderful love I can finally admit to feeling and that I know is returned - YAY! I am in charge of my life and my future and it is a lovely thing with lots of promise to it.
I was in the Congo today with the Lowland Gorilla today and it was Wanto who was out today. (We have 6 of them and they rotate out in three groups; Wanto doesn't play well with others so he is out alone) He is such a gorgeous creature at 26 years and 400 pounds of solid muscle, a silverback (denoting that he is adult) and a reddish crest to the top of his pointy head - a most impressive, magnificent creature. He was very active today - going between the gazebo and the glass viewing room. He pounded on the glass several times and once, when I went to the gazebo to talk to our two English docents whom I've gotten acquainted with, he picked up a bit stick and threw it right at us! Now, he could've hit us but he aimed it well over our heads - but definitely *at* us!
But the amazing thing was that when there was no one else in the viewing room he rolled a log over to the window and sat on it exactly opposite the bench I was sitting on. I was eating a muffin and felt so intimidated by his staring that I put the muffin away - I felt like I was being rude eating in front of him! And then someone would come in, he'd get up and move about or lie down in the corner to relax. But then every time I was alone he'd come back to sit on the log and stare at me. He did this all day and I began to be convinced that he was flirting with me - well, that and what else he was doing while staring at me! Ahem! I'm *not* that sort of girl! Ok, ok, to be honest, I may well be - but certainly not with the likes of him! Dear goddess - didn't know whether to be scared, impressed, intimidated, amused or flattered! I guess a little of all of 'em. Damon (the lead interactor) came over about 4pm and he found it to be terribly amusing - until Wanto looked straight at him and let out this huge series of farts! I rolled. You can never forget you're working with animals. But it's certainly not dull there! And Damon showed us the new job description for the off-season Educators they're going to be looking for which would start immediately when the Interactor job ends. I'm going to apply - we'll see what happens.
In reading Wendy's brave call for help I felt quite guilty for not reading all weekend and answering her when she most needed it. Boy, do I understand how she feels and how my life started to change radically when I had the courage to email a similar cry for help to my friends last November. As she experienced, I too had an immediate outpouring of love and support from all of my friends. The very pro-active impulse swallowing one's independent pride and admitting that you cannot stand absolutely alone in life is a very empowering thing.
I'll be honest - I've had some really tough moments but the lowest I can recall is returning home from the Iowa State Faire last 8/18 to find that Pete and Deb had packed up and moved away and left me a note. How I got through that night is not something I will go into great detail remembering - I survived it. In conversation Saturday evening, Bruce reminded me of that upcoming 'anniversary' - and I've come so far away from it that I had to stop and think exactly to what event he was referring! And yet, I did consciously decide to be proactive in recovering from it; I went ahead and performed at faire - thank goddess that I did as that's how I met Bruce. He saw someone in immense pain at Joe and Lea's wedding that Saturday night and offered a gentlemanly arm of friendly support - with no strings attached. Heh - I thought he was from Scarborough.
Anyway, I digress (easy for me to do at the thought of that darlin' Scottish rogue) but my point is that from the gray ashes of despair are born the shining golden wings of the Phoenix. Fanciful, but an image that means a great deal to me. I worked through the betrayal and my hurt and moved on with life; put the past behind me and went on - how many times have I done that? That is why my personal symbol has become the Phoenix. I'm going to design one (been talking to Jeannie D. about it as a design for one of her windows) that has peacock feathers incorporated into it - been thinking about that concept for a couple of years now.
Anyway - I'm so tired I'm rattling on again; need to get dressed and go to fencing practice to at least stretch and practice footwork and parrys.
Wonder what tomorrow will be like? Last year's birthday was fun because I was working and I made it fun - told the patrons at the State fair and they sung me happy birthday all day long. Everybody's happy to see the Statue of Liberty - it's such a fun gig. Then went back to the hotel and cried myself to sleep 'cause Pete was spozed to come up and didn't - little did I know what was shortly to come! This year is *S0* different! I am loved by wonderful friends and a wonderful love I can finally admit to feeling and that I know is returned - YAY! I am in charge of my life and my future and it is a lovely thing with lots of promise to it.
