Sunshine!

[rowangolightly]

I'm taking full advantage of the fact that although it is supposed to rain all week, it did not last night and it is not this morning. Surely, it'll be muddy but I'm gonna go play in my garden!

But first, I wanted to share a funny that I got via email this morning, you know, one of those friends who sends the "you're my friend and you can prove it by sending this to all your friends and back to me" stuff which I simply delete. *sigh* Absolute sweetheart of a lady but eventually I'll have to gently tell her to please not send those; my friendship doesn't require that sort of proof. Hey, at least she doesn't send the ones with the threats of bad luck at the end!

But this one made me laugh right out loud several times. It reminded my of my ex's nephew, Talley, who once put toast with peanut butter inside the VCR and who also, after showing the hammer to his Mommy and inquisitively saying, "AHbubrumowuba?" to her and getting an absent, "Yes dear" took a hammer to the glass-top coffee table. He'd be about 15 now, I guess.

Anyway....

you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fil! l a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's lready too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old boy.

11.) 'Play Dough' and 'microwave' should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super Glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Comments

[ztrooper.livejournal.com]

first time I saw that one, I wanted to try the mix. 8)

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*GRIN* Of course you did....

[alsainder.livejournal.com]

Clorox and brake fluid make smoke? ::wonders if he has any brake fluid:: Cool beans. :)

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*LOL*

If I see you bald and in cinders standing on that balcony during parade, I won't wonder why!

[coeurdechoeur.livejournal.com]

Actually, so did I. I always wanted a chemistry set as a kid, but it's probably better that I didn't, because I probably would have blown something up. (That was actually the initial inspiration for Guillaume.)

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*hehehehe* Doesn't surprise me one little bit.

[queenmaggie.livejournal.com]

others, from my own experience: (and many of these look awfully familiar)
The neighbor's ripe tomatoes on the vine make fantastic blood for villains when you have a stick sword.

grampas, smoke bombs, little boys and groundhog burrows make for interesting gossip.

Moms can break the sound barrier when they hear "Catch me Mommy, I'm flying!"

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*LOL*

Ah, what I've missed by not having any kids. I was tomboiy enough to cause many a trial for my own mother....

I can add: tying one end of a rope inside the upper hay door of a barn and the other to the roll bar of a jeep with a pulley to hang onto when you jump enables you to fly just like in the movies!

[lilychantvestry.livejournal.com]

Mine is a MacGuyver type way of dealing with boys.

"Duct tape will fix anything." Including keeping a "Houdini" in his diaper.

My husband wants to build a Velcro wall with matching suit so he can hang our son on the wall. I don't blame him for thinking that way sometimes. But I don't think DHS would approve of a Velcro wall.

I'm sure that some of these things will happen to me. My little boy is ornery enough (without Daddy's help).

See you on Mother's Day. Bringing the hubby and son along this time. You won't believe how big my son has gotten.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

...a Velcro wall with matching suit so he can hang our son on the wall. I don't blame him for thinking that way sometimes....

That is a top seller as a 'game' that is run by the guy who used to be my agent for the Statues. Seriously...the soft side is the wall and the players put on a suit made of the sticky side. It's hilarious to watch.

And you know damned well that it was not a female who came up with that concept!

[lilychantvestry.livejournal.com]

Yep, only men could think to make a velcro wall with a suit to hang on it by.

I've seen it on various different game shows.

[mljm.livejournal.com]

I had to reply to your post because my son is a terror. At 2 1/2 he's already destroyed more and "helped" me with not so pleasant consequences than my 6 year old daughter dreamed of. I'm of the opinion that a velcro wall or duct tape is a nice idea. But you're right, DFS (in Missouri) wouldn't care for it very much.

I read the humor post above fearing for my house and my sanity as my son gets older. If he proves to me half as creative as my husband is I'm not sure who, if any of us, is going to survive his teenage years.

[lilychantvestry.livejournal.com]

My son is only 20 months old and I don't know if he's going to live to see 2 yrs old. He gets into everything, we have to check the trash on a nightly basis for toys and cups, he takes his diaper off in the crib (and then does the gross unthinkable). But this is mostly a kid being a kid.

Oh and destroys books like nobody's business.

I feel the same dread as you. My husband was no angel growing up...and if our son does half the stuff my husband did he'll be in juvie in no time.

[mljm.livejournal.com]

Oh my the stories we could share. :) I'm not too far ahead of you. Jami will be 3 in September and his reign of terror began later than one would expect because of an illness that lasted from Nov 2005 until this past March. Praise to any and all that watch over children that he has recovered, but I think he's making up for lost time now.

Do you mind if I friend you?

I do try to remind myself that Jami is just exploring his world and doesn't have a clue of the damage he's doing or the work he makes for me while he's trying to "do it himself." Thankfully today he's been pretty good.

[rhiannontherose.livejournal.com]

I can add a wily and recently-two-year-old to the mix. He's still got a few developmental delays (like verbal communication) left over from his two-months-prematurity and first-six-months-were-medical-hell....but that just makes the unwarned person suspect him less, when he's about to prove how ahead he is (often inconveniently) when it comes to cognitive skills....problem-solving new and unlikely ways to get into mischief. :-)

[lilychantvestry.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that we could share some stories. :-)

My son will be 2 in September (on the 6th).

Our terrible twos started at 15 months...and haven't really stopped yet. He has 2 speeds....asleep and 90 to nothing. LOL ;-)

Yes, you can friend me. I don't blog/journal much...usually just when I have something to say.

[lord-enigma.livejournal.com]

My little houdini figured out how to open doors not long ago. So we got the bright idea of getting one of those childproof door handles. He figured that out after two days.

So, we put a dresser in front of his door at night (his door opens inwards). He learned to simply push over the dresser and climb out.

We stacked two baby gates inside the door, before the dresser, and he just climbed them.

We went back to the dresser thing, and propped a metal rod under one drawer and against the base of the far wall -- he crawled under the dresser.

So we decided to cover the base with blankets, and secure them by the weight of the dresser. SOMEHOW he got out.

I tried securing the door (no dresser now) with some string, and tying it to another door. NO such luck, as he just broke the string.

So we swapped doornobs with the bathroom, lock on outside, and it's been great ever since. Until, of course, he figures out how to pick locks. :P

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*ROFL* Houdini indeed.

We call our Terry-god 'Houdini' and solved his digging under the fence to escape the yard by running an electric wire around the bottom of the fence. But I don't somehow think that's a very good idea in your case...no matter how occasionally tempting it might be!

[rhiannontherose.livejournal.com]

Forgive me for finding that hilarious. After all, I fully expect my son to pull the same thing off. Currently he still can't *quite* scale the walls of the playpen he sleeps in, but he's figured out how to shift it across his entire room, while he's in it, until he can reach the door. Then, he tries to let himself out, playpen and all. The only problem is that his door opens in, so the playpen is in the way....for now.

The cat I had when I was younger, figured out how to open locked doors. She would jump up, grab the doorknob in her front paws, brace her back paws against the door, and then use her nose and teeth to turn the little thingy in the middle of the knob, that locked and unlocked it. Then she'd hold onto the knob by wrapping her front legs around it, twist herself to the side to turn it, while swinging her lower body to push the door at the same time. We had to start using bolt-locks at the top of the door. I already bought some, to use around here with Jamie.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Ye gods! I've always thought that the only reason cats don't rule the world (to our knowledge!) is the lack of opposable thumbs. You've just knocked holes in that theory...

[rhiannontherose.livejournal.com]

[rhiannontherose.livejournal.com]

That's from a webcomic called Catena Manor. I came across it randomly some time ago, happening upon this particular comic...I had to save it.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

I love it!

[mljm.livejournal.com]

I'm so very thankful Jami can't read at all and Katie is still learning to read. They don't need any more ideas of how make our lives interesting. At this moment they are playing Barbies together. A mostly quiet and non-destructive activity.

[ladyniniane.livejournal.com]

Lack of reading skills will not stop Jami - take it from one who knows. Son-&-heir learned at an early age what the words 'Emergency Room' and 'stitches' mean. (This is the full-egg-carton child of previous postings.)

[mljm.livejournal.com]

Shhh.... just don't give me any more ideas. I don't think I wrote that he painted Katie's new carpet (that I haven' even paid off yet) last Friday. I can't get it out. It's Crayola (washable - HA!) Tempera (I think that's right) paints. Mostly red and black on a very light sandy colored carpet. He had about 3 difficult situations in about 2 hours that afternoon. The paint was only one of them.

You give me hope that even devil children eventually grow up to be productive members of society. :)

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

OH NO!

Yes, even Talley, whom I described above is apparently now a very bright and great kid. I wish I could see him now since all I remember is the unholy terror he was at Jami's age.

Talley, at about 4, once pulled the stool over to the basement door while his Mommy was downstairs doing laundry and his baby sister was in her room and latched the hook that was put at the very top of the door, locking her downstairs while he sat on the other side of the door giggling madly.

Yeah, you're not alone...

[ladyniniane.livejournal.com]

Try the spray-on oxy-clean stuff

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Indeed...I second that recommendation. I've gotten ink out of Bruce's shirts with that stuff.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*LOL* Yeah, I didn't think about what ideas it might give even to some of the adults on my flist! ::points above::

Yay for mostly quiet playing!

[mljm.livejournal.com]

Hehehe. It's been some interesting reading and has made me feel less alone with the antics of my two.

[cplady.livejournal.com]

I could add a couple more...like climbing onto the roof through the bathroom window gives you many more paintball targets to shoot at.

I've seen that one several times over the past few years, and each time there is something else added to it.

BTW, there is a commercial on TV with a father trying to take care of 4 toddlers...one who goes into the bathroom with a watch and you suddenly hear the toilet flush and "uh oh".

When Gordon and I first saw that commercial we about died laughing because anytime we heard "uh oh" from Ian in any context, it was generally bad news.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*LMAO* Can I admit that I used to sorta do that...but it wasn't paintball. I was an ornery kid but I was the 'quiet' one so most times I never even got caught. My 4-yrs-older sister would announce, "I'm going to do this!" and get in trouble for it, then she'd go and do it and get in trouble again! I saw the handwriting on the wall and thought, "Hmmm...think I'll just not say anything and only get in trouble once!"

[teross50.livejournal.com]

May the Gods bless all parents with bright curious, and methodical small children.
Remember child abuse happens, when the parents loose the ability to take a deep breath, before reacting,.

Ya I think the clorox and what???? Now that's cool LMAO

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Indeed....I know the friends of mine who are parents of such children are also blessed with lots of patience...whether they're always aware of it or not!

My father was one such....

Should I IM your wife and have her hide the Clorox?

*LMAO*

[teross50.livejournal.com]

She was too busy laughing LOL

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*guffaw* Good, my work here is done, then!

[kitchenelf.livejournal.com]

OPPS!!!

I thought that was a check list!

BTW it DOSE make alot of smoke!! and I can start a fire with flint and steal

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*chuckle* I have absolutely NO doubt of that. I remember you as a kid!

[elisedevescy.livejournal.com]

*sigh* do you know I can recall several of those happening?

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

*grin* I have no doubt....and a few more to come as well, very likely!