Wedding and ministerial stuff...

[rowangolightly]

I just received in the mail yesterday my official ministerial license and three blank certificates for upcoming ceremonies. I also ordered a book on Handfastings and Wedding Rituals. Some of it is too 'Lady Pixie Fairy-Dust'ish for me but it does have some nice stuff and lots of ideas.
This "Hymn to Hera" was one of the bits that I found in this book. I really don't keep with calling on particular deities myself, under the 'be careful of what you ask for' premise but this is lovely.


Keeper of promises,
Maker of vows.
Queen of the Heavens,
Queenof clasped hands
And clasped hearts
Look down on us with benevolence.
Bless this our union
And teachus that a binding
Can mean freedom.

Nice. I like that.

And this; a reflection on the actual taking of vows. I can agree that I felt this way during the Handfasting and expect to feel this way again during the wedding...like important stuff was being done. I wish everybody would take promise-making that seriously.

The vows are actually the most important part of the entire ritual, as they are the public affirmation of the couple's intent, spoken in tehir own voices. Without the vows, there is no surety that the marriage is real. I know that for myself, actually speaking the vow - making the promise in front of all those people - was a belly-dropping experience. This is it, this is for real, my body responded, and the blood roared in my ears. We had done it; we had pledged in front of all those people and it was Done. It is a magical promise, made in front of the gods, with all the weight of a geas (a magically binding oath-spell). Even those who are not religious and don't see marriage as anything other than a secular arrangement sometimes find themselves having a spiritual experience in the middle of their weddings.

Yep.

And I may add to this later. Right now I have a garden to go dig about in.

Comments

[chibi-jeni.livejournal.com]

My favorite part of our wedding ceremony, and I love the minister Kiegan for saying this, was during our vows when usually preachers will say "as long as you both shall live," she says "for as long as love shall last." I LIKE THAT A LOT! :D In this day and age, it's just more practical (IMHO) and since this is both of our second marriages, it's a very nice change to not feel tied down by the "eternity stuff".

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that works well for some people. For me it just seems as though it's giving an out for when things get difficult. I had that in my last ceremony and it just didn't sit right with me even then. I really don't find either definitive statment quite right....which is why I'm looking for a lot of other options for that.

[chibi-jeni.livejournal.com]

True. But it's all in the individual interpretation of the couple. Jon and I have been through a LOT of bad times in this last year, so I don't see us taking the "easy out" any time soon; so it was good for us.

I can see the difficulty in finding a simple statement that wraps up everything without getting real long and wordy.

[docjeff.livejournal.com]

I like that Hymn to Hera a lot! :)

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that really resonated with me too.

I found another blessing that I really like that I'm going to post in a bit.

[ladybarnard.livejournal.com]

There is something so important about standing up in front of witnesses and making promises to one another. *That's* why marriage is more than "just a piece of paper" and why I get so annoyed with people who use that as an excuse to avoid comittment. I'm so glad to find someone who shares this belief.

I truly believe that it is not love alone that holds a relationship together during the tough times. It's respect, shared experience, fondness, and so many other things. "As long as love shall last" sounds like a caveat. A predetermined "out" if you will. Definitely not the bedrock foundation of "until death do us part." Course, that's just my opinion.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I fall somewhere in the middle. I absolutely agree that committment is important, as Bruce has said, it's a committment more to shared and set goals, 'cause when difficulties come up it's too easy to think that you've stopped loving.

'Til death do us part' was a part of my first one and it bothered me then and only lasted as long as he didn't want to be married anymore. Then, 'As long as love shall last' was a part of my second and that bothered me, too. It certainly didn't end because either of us stopped trying.

It's got to be what works for each commitment...see, I can't even say couple because I know of several triads or groups that make most other traditional marriages I know of seem tenuous. I fully intend to be with Bruce, happily married, until death do us part and I hope that it's many, many years away. But there are other ways for us to word that particular commitment.

And yeah, this is just my opinion, too.

[polyemtgirl.livejournal.com]

If you are looking for workding for ceremonies take a look at http://members.aol.com/revlyon/ceremony.html

A lot of it is based on Catholisicm, but there are a bunch of nice passages that arn't!!

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

I'm looking at all sorts of things....thanks!

[motherpockets.livejournal.com]

Something a good friend said to me once when I asked how she and her husband had managed to stay married for 25 years really stuck with me: She said, "We never promised to stay married forever. We did promise to keep working things out."
Yeah.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Yep, I think that's the trick....to be committed to keeping working. Anybody who doesn't think that relationships take constant work is kidding themselves.